In My Mind

In my head I've written many journal entries both here in random personal land ~ very casual and on imaginary blogs. Blogs very specific to the aspirations of my imagined super me, you know what I'm referring to, everyone has a them but better fantasy self. Oh how I do love and admire super Edie Babe, what with all her accomplishments already and more to come, her swift execution of the mad skills she's honed over a lifetime of discipline & learning; plus the healthy physic, how could anyone not love her? Er, I mean me, well not "me"me but über me... Über me = terrific and makes it look sexy and easy whereas "me"me rather much more messy, indecisive and well over weight & out if shape.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not awful or anything, despite what choir of assholes in my head might have me belief. Luckily I'm smart enough to have integrated the notion of 'don't believe everything you think' well enough to get by despite the choir of assholes singing in rounds shit like 'you can't do it' repeating lighter voices sing slowly while at the same time lower toned aholes sing faster lines like 'you suck, you really fucking suck...' etc. truly the sound is quite beautiful but the content is such vile bs. It does wear me down and sometimes out though but not always and not for long.

Yes in my mind I've been fantastically prolific, profound, funny and oh so interesting in the blogosphere. In reality is lay here bitching with one finger typing on a smart phone all the while praying for a 2 hour old headache to just f off already. Not very über me at all really.

Über awesome me has a fitness and food blog where she shares recipes & the logic & science behind them. ÜA me also has blogs dedicated to special interests, to trying other peoples theories, to become even more über ~ it's ceaseless wonderfulness that just comes naturally. Reality me bites today.

Meh.

What would your über you say to encourage my reality me right now?

Conversational Starfish

You know those conversations where you have to lead and carry for the entire talk? If this happens every time with the same person after a while do you question their interest in talking with you, or anyone for that matter? I do.

Every week I have a scheduled talk day with my love, it is very pro active and a great opportunity to just check in w each other. However I am always the one who has to lead and carry the whole deal do it feels rather one sided. I've expressed this and have been told "I don't really know how to do it if I'm not responding" to me this is verbally starfishing, he disagrees.

So I ask you my friends is it verbally starfishing if you come to a regularly scheduled talk with no questions, no curiosities, no agenda, no wishes, nothing but yourself and a willingness to respond?